Ok now. If I'm buying some girl scout cookies, that are so good I can only get them at one time each year, I want those cookies to be made by a girl scout... not a machine. Hell, even a robot girl scout would suffice. Put a sash over the dough press machine and I'll be a happy camper.
BUT I'M NOT A HAPPY CAMPER NOW DAMMIT!
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Yeah, you diverse set of scouts,
I want your tears in my cookies! |
No... ok, so I got an ungodly amount of girl scout cookies from my little girl scout friend who does girl scout things in her girl scout free time. I took these cookies and was like, "mmmmmmmmmm mmmm shortbread." I open up these cookies and eat one and I'm like, "hmmmmmm hmmmm shortbread." What I noticed wasn't that the cookies were lacking in flavor (although I prefer a different type of shortbread cookie that rhymes with forna-spoons), I was feeling like there was no girl scout love in them. Just the cold touch of a mass-produced factory cookie. Sad. Phace. :(
I want my girl scout cookies to have the blood, sweat, and tears of an eight-year-old baked right into their mint-y goodness. I think when I was little I thought that girl scout cookies were made out of girl scouts. I didn't understand these things yet. I also thought that Cap'n Crunch was real and that someday he would sail away with me on his magical ship of crunchy glory.
It was a sad process growing up.
On that note,
Much love!
-Harrison
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P.P.S. Leave comments about random douche-baggery! I'd love to hear it!
I think you should know Cap'n Crunch is going to be sailing away forever very soon if he hasn't already.
ReplyDeleteDo you mean like the cereal in real life? Because that makes me extremely depressed. Where did you hear this? It's still in stores though.
ReplyDeleteOmg. Hahahah I loved this! However, I'm enjoying my thin mints and pb patties despite the lack of legitimate child love.
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