Tumblr Deceit

Ok now. Whenever I title a post with 'deceit' you know that I am irate. So here are my thoughts on tumblr.

At first I was like, "lulz, tumblr is for hipsters and preteens." Then I was like, "Harrison get over it. Tumblr is pretty cool, and you can discover wonderful pictures of your nerdy interests." Things went well for a while, but then I started to get sucked in to the world of tumblr twelve-year-olds, trolls, and cyber-rage.

I have already discussed trolls. Cyber-rage is this blog with more swearing and disgust. But let me talk about preteens.

Now in the real world, a preteen is somebody ages 10-12 who thinks they're a teenager but isn't. On tumblr, a preteen is everybody who posts text blurbs about their lives 200 times a day. First off, that is what twitter is for. Second, I don't tumble to read! I tumble to see pictures and be a nerdy fan! Third, why are your lives so depressing preteens!?

Example:

My life is so sad
I once had friends but now they all hate me
because I fuck their cats


I hate my dad
He bought me an iPad 2 a day before the new iPad came out
He is a boner


I was sexually molested
by myself
Looking in the mirror is hard


After I finish vomiting all over my computer I decide it is time to unfollow them. One day their life will get better. Or not, I don't even care anymore.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg for the rage that I connect with tumblr. What gets me more than anything is when someone will start a blog and title it footlooseforever and then they will post a bunch of footloose-related things. That's cool, let your abomination of a fandom flag fly you fucking footloose  freak. Anyway, they post all their fun pictures from footloose and you're like, "das kewl, keep on posting these kewl images friend."

THEN THEY BECOME A PRETEEN!

Suddenly Kevin Bacon get's replaced with pictures of One Direction members. John Lithgow is replaced with poetry about cutting onions and how it's the only time you can find true happiness. The girl from Footloose gets replaced by pictures of CATS!

What had been a fandom blog has evolved into the grotesque preteen blog. Soon every 20th post will be about Footloose, then every 50th, then soon you will be lucky if they post one thing a month. It is disgusting. And what is the worst is you don't know whether to unfollow them or to anon them asking them why they're a fucking little twat.

Then you do both. They reply with a "you're just like my step-dad" and then you never are graced by their cyber-presence again.

Tumblr... Bitches...

...

Well that was the biggest first-world-problem of my life. I'm going to go waste more time on the internet.

Much love!

-Harrison