Not Having Eyes That Can Shoot Laser Beams

Ok now. Have I already said this one? I'm pretty sure I didn't but if I did you're just going to have to read it again!

Can you imagine how much fun the world would be?

Now... I'll be sitting behind a large mass of girls who may or may not be talking extremely loudly in extremely high pitched voices saying things like: "Having an std doesn't make you a whore does it?" or "I don't understand why I'm gaining weight. I mean, I haven't been eating because I know I'm going to have at least four beers each night" And you just want to zap them with the laser beams in your eyes.

No seriously. I'll be sitting having a little lunchy or maybe just waiting for a lecture to start and they'll be going on and I just want to be like, Pzzzt (that's my zapping noise). One, it would make them shut up. Two, it would make me laugh. Three, I don't have a third point.

But for reals. If you're sitting in front of me in a lecture eating your strawberry applesauce and smacking your lips, Imma zap the bitch out of you.

Much love.

-Harrison