Some people are like, "lulz i getz up at 6 everyday and I go on a run and pick flowers and knit scarves and watch Titanic and rescue puppies from burning buildings and then i don't even have to be at work 'til 11! lolz :D :D :D"
-_-
What the hell?!? But I guess they go to bed at like 11 so I can't judge them. I have been recently falling asleep around 1am, if I got up at 6 every morning the world would feel my wrath. I'll give some examples of why I do not get along with mornings:
First, pillows hate my hair. My hair is something that I care very much about (I will discuss this further in a later post) and when it is out of whack or won't conform to society's rules and regulations I get very anxious and when I get anxious I tend to act a fool. When I lay down for twenty minutes my hair will get into bedhead mode and look that way until I shower. When I sleep in a bed overnight, my hair looks like it hasn't been washed for years. It is a tapestry of what the fucks. Some how the hair on my left is stuck to the right side while the back curls forward and the right sticks straight up. There is only one place I will go with this type of hair: the gym. And that's because I give none of the fucks when I'm at the gym. I don't need to doll up like a tri-delta to run one lap. There is no way I am going to the gym at 6am and I do not want to shower before I go the gym, just to have to shower again in an hour or so.
Second, I hate being quiet. I live in an apartment with two other people who also do not like to get up at 6am. When I get up I like to derp around, shower, type long-winded posts about things I hate on the internet, and watch tv. But I like to do all of these things WITH GUSTO! How am I supposed to derp if I can't be my loud unruly self? What If I accidentally break my desk and need to fix it? I can't do that quietly? How am I supposed to truly be motivated by Nicki Minaj if she is not screaming at me that she is going to whip out her dick and piss on me? Sounds like an awful morning.
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| This seemed appropriate. I woke up at 6am this morning... |
Third, the morning is a cold place that belongs to the devil. I had an 8am class last semester and would have to get up at 7 to get ready. I would test the temperature and be like, ok it is winter-coat weather. I knew that it would be 70 by the end of the day, but it was 30 degrees at that moment. What was I supposed to do, freeze my nipples off on my walk to class? Then I wouldn't be able to focus because I would have no nipples! So I wear my coat and then within two hours it would be 10,000 degrees. If I was cunning I could teleport home and drop off my coat, but unfortunately I have not mastered those skills yet and only had 10 minutes between classes, so I had to tote my coat all day. Then my arm gets hot and I have to find somewhere awkward to put my coat which is usually the floor and then it gets dirty and then my day is ruined.
I am a bundle of first-world problems.
Sorry I haven't posted in a month and a half. Life happened and then it kept happening. I'll try to be more attentive.
Remember, two new polls at the bottom of the page!
Much love!
-Harrison
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