Shorts So Short That the Pockets Stick Out Underneath Them

Ok now. This little rant is going to be especially ranty. Because WHAT THE FUCK? Seriously though. Have you ever seen a girl (or guy?) walk around with a pair of shorts that are sooooooo short, but still have pockets that stick out 3-5 inches underneath them?

When I see these I make a face that says, "Gurrrrl" and then I keep staring at them because I WANT THE POCKETS TO GO AWAY!

I am not a fashonista. I am not a designer. I am not really interested in fashion at all. But there is one thing that I know is a mistake.

The world shouldn't see your pockets!!!

Not even because it's shit-ugly. But because if a stabber wanted to stab you and steal your tic-tacs they could easily just be like, "BAM" stab you in the chest, then "SLICE" slice open your conveniently exposed pockets and take all of your minty-fresheners. And then where would we be? You'd be dead, still wearing those hideous shorts, the stabber would be enjoying fresh breath with under 5 calories per piece, and I'd still be disgusted.

So in conclusion, these shorts need to go. Hell, just cut off the pockets. But better yet, just don't wear these shorts. You're not going to get any oooos and aaahs from me because of your amazing tanned legs (which you wouldn't anyone because im a homosexual) all you're going to get is an "UGH" and then a "Gurrrrrl"

Much love.

-Harrison

P.S. There's a new poll up down below!