The Laws of Food

Ok now. Have you ever been like, "I'm hungry, I want a snack. Ooh this looks healthy I'll have a little bit. Yum yum yum. Yay I was so healthy!"

Then two hours later after realizing all the shit you have to do, "I AM SO STRESSED I AM GOING TO EAT EVERYTHING! I'M GOING TO EAT MY FRIDGE! I'M GOING TO EAT MY BED! I'M GOING TO EAT MY DOG!"

And then you do eat everything (RIP Fido) and you look in the mirror and say, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!? I WAS DOING SO GOOD!" And then you explode.

Yeah... that is my life. Like, I tell myself that I'll just eat half of what I usually would, but then I go to a restaurant with some friends. We pay like $10 for a meal and it comes, but I only want to eat half. But I don't want to waste the food, so I tell myself I'll take it home. But then we end up sitting and talking for longer and I ate the whole plate! And then I gain 700.2 pounds and I have to be carted around like a show cow. :(

And why does food work like this? or maybe, why does my body accept the food so freely?

No... it is the food's fault. Yes, let us play the blame game on that. Seriously food? Do you expect me not to eat your delicious carrot cake goodness? But I think what bothers me the most is how clingy the food is.

I view it like a relationship. I totes get with the food, let's use carrot cake as an example. I get with the carrot cake. I make out with the carrot cake. It makes my insides feel funny, but it was worth it. And then I know that it's time to move on, so I get rid of the carrot cake. But the carrot cake has left it's shit in my house! It left all it's furniture in my office and it really needs to go.

So I try to work it off. Like... if I work out, maybe the furniture will be moved. But it doesn't move. It just stays there. And then the carrot cake comes back and I indulge again and the cycle repeats itself.

It is the great circle of life. Carrot cake life.

I love carrot cake, if you couldn't tell.

Much love!

-Harrison