School Glue

Ok now. I should clarify that I hate glue. I hate it.... in all forms.... except for stick form. Everything is better in stick form.

But when I use glue, especially school glue, this is what I'm thinking:

'Ladeeda just gluing googly eyes on this bitchin' collage of the loch ness monster. Let me grab my glue. OH SHIT! I poured too much out! Let me just dab some off. Now Nessie looks like she has some disease on her eyes. Fuck, how can I fix this? Get bigger googly eyes? Ok, but now I need more glue, shit I did it again! Oh god it's all over my fingers! Ugh, they're stuck together. It looks like some kinky sex act gone wrong. I hate you glue!!!!!!'

And here's my thought process when I use glue.... in stick form:

'Ladeeda let me just rub this on. Oh perfect, why isn't it sticking, let me just add some more. Why isn't it sticking! Oh well at least my fingers are clean."

So in the end, all glue is evil but glue sticks are the lesser of those evils.

And so when you're using super glue the same thing happens but then you realize "OH SHIT I GLUED MY THUMB AND MIDDLE FINGER TOGETHER! AH!" And then you prep for the burn, and you pretend that it won't be that bad.

But it is.

And then your fingers burn for days and it hurts to eat corn on the cob and everything is just a big mess!

Conclusion: Glue sucks, this coffee shop I'm sitting in is playing Madonna.

Much love!

-Harrison